www.BryceClarke.com

www.BryceClarke.com  is my updated website.

I Don't Use This Much Anymore. Also, my Second Post about Poop.

I just had a weird memory.

When I was about 15 or so, my brothers and I spent a lot of our free time after school building a bike track out in the woods about 15 minutes from our house.  One day when we were out there I needed to drop deuce pretty bad, so I found a flower pot laying around, walked away from everyone and did my thing.

This experience crossed my mind today, 12 years later, and for the first time since then I thought to myself, "Why did I choose to poop in a flower pot? "

Seriously, though.  I was in the freaking woods...

P.S. I have posted a new website Team TechnoViking Adventure Racing.

I Am the Victim of Credit Card Fraud and Selective Memory

I was going through my online account statement about an hour ago, and I noticed something very suspicious. As of right now, I have three charges for $5.19 pending on my account from somewhere named "IISN." I saw that and thought "WTFlip? What did Rachel possibly buy for $5.19, three times in a row?" I continued to scan my account summary and noticed that this same charge appeared several times. Turns out that over the past 3 months (as far back as I am able to see on my account) this charge appears about 15 times. So, 15 times $5.19 = Bryce is pissed. I asked Rachel about it, and of course she did not remember purchasing anything at all in the last few days. So, Rachel's response = Bryce is pissed. I called my bank and was connected to a really nice teller, which I didn't know existed. I mean she was nice like I was going to try to hook her up with my friend Tanner, nice. Anyway, I explained to her the suspicious charges, to which she responded saying that the charges do appear to her as fraudulent. She put a hold on the charges, deactivated my card, and opened an inquiry case. She then asked a series of questions; What was the last charge you made, does anyone else know your pin, would you be willing to prosecute the offender, etc. I answered the questions (with an emphatic YES to the prosecute the offender one, might I add) and she told me that I would hear the findings of the investigation in a week. Immediately after hanging up with the bank, I shredded my card. I then went downstairs to let my mom know that I was hopefully going to be emphatically prosecuting an offender in a very emphatic manner in the near future, emphatically. We started talking about about how the scheme must be working, and this was our conversation:

Mom: "It's so stupid that someone would steal a credit card number and only charge $5."

Bryce: "No it's pretty genius, I mean charge a little amount and they'll never notice it."

Mom: "You're right; charge 1,000 people $5 and you make off like a bandit."

Bryce: "Yep. The problem with this guy is that he got greedy. He charged too many times in one week, which was a dead giveaway." I pulled out my phone and opened up the calendar. "I mean he charged me three times this week... Look, I had one on Wednesday, I didn't buy anything on Wednesday. We didn't go out to lunch at work or anything, we just ate in the cafeteriaaaa-ooohhhhhhh-crap."

It hit me. For the past three months, every time I was on a certain client I would buy the same sandwich and a bag of chips for lunch. And yes, with tax that comes out to $5.19. And yes, I am an idiot. An idiot who now has no debit card.

And funny side note, you know when I said "15 times $5.19 = Bryce is pissed," I have noticed that almost all mathematical calculations I work on have that same product. Good job for me deciding to be an accountant.

Easily the Most Anoying Video Ever Made

11:18pm, Guess What Just Happened

So I bought a laptop stand online. It's pretty cool. It came in a big box; 2 feet long by 1 foot tall. It was 11:18pm and I decided I needed to take the box downstairs. Instead of carrying it, I chose to ride it like a horse. So, I am a 27 year old man, and I chose to ride it like a horse.

I honestly made it down two steps before the front of the box tore and I somersaulted down the stairs and ended up lying face down on the cold tile floor in the kitchen. And I'm serious about only making it down two steps, and I'm serious about actually going end-over-end down the stairs, and I'm serious about landing on my face. I woke up Mom and Dad, which I feel bad about, but my iPhone came out unscathed, which I'm happy about.

Just yesterday after the Cub Scout pack meeting (I'm the Cubmaster), a friend of mine told me that life was getting too serious for him. Apparently I am not dealing with that problem.

Thanksgiving Video - By: Bryce

I made this. Enjoi.

My Wife Is Cute

Just a second ago, Rachel walked out of the family room and into the bathroom. I asked her what she was doing and she answered,

"I'm going to take my earrings out and put them in a little dish so I don't lose them."

Normally in that situation I would expect someone to say "Nothing," or " Taking my earrings out," you know, something not so long and descriptive as Rachel's answer. But it was cute, and that is why I love her.